i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
