What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
