She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
