what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
