just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
