Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
