I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
