i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
