Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
