Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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