His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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