so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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