then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
