Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
