I hope mine doesn't look like that
stop calling my apartment porn island.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
