i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My life is pants optional.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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