I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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