i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
