I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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