So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
