how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
