She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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