well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
