singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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