i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
