ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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