bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
