That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
