the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
