you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
