just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
