he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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