I just cut my nipple shaving
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
