Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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