Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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