He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
