Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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