I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
