I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
