If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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