I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
