You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
