Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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