do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Randomize
