i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
