Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
