did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
