i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
