Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I love having hate sex.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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