So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
